For Better Or For Worse
by Invader Johnny
Summary: Prequel to "I Had A Smeet Once" Before Zim and Gaz were married, he had to pop the question, what does he do? He leaves Gir behind as a diversion for his Gaz-Beast, a babysitting job she deeply hates but ultimately leads to a much bigger reward.
1. Babysitting Of Doom

_**For Better Or For Worse.**_

 _ **Writer: Invader Johnny.**_

 _ **Disclaimer: Invader Zim belongs to the almigthy Jhonen Vasquez, I own squat!**_

 _ **Plot: Prequel to "I Had A Smeet Once" Before Zim and Gaz were married, he had to pop the question, what does he do? He leaves Gir behind as a diversion for his Gaz-Beast, a babysitting job she deeply hates but ultimately leads to a much bigger reward.**_

 _ **Author Notes: I got to thank both my nephews for the inspiration since it was because of me doing some babysitting that this story came to be.**_

 ** _As we all know Gir has the surprising ability to bend the likes of Zim and Gaz to his will so while he only did so respectively in "Invasion of the idiot dog brain", "Zim eats Waffles" and "Tak; the hideous new girl" I just think that our favourite insane little robot could get away with a lot more had the series continued._**

 ** _Anyway while this story does explore a bit more of the ZAGR relationship I also wanted to some fun and see just how far our favourite insane S.I.R Unit could go without getting scrapped for metal by a very annoyed Gaz._**

 ** _So, enjoy the story and as a final note, prepare to learn a bit about our volatile universe._**

* * *

The Voot Cruiser was farting it's way across the milky way galaxy, right into the constellation that the Earthlings dubbed 'Cancer.'

Why? Let's just say that "Invader" Zim had a very specific destination in mind, one that was surely to succeed in a mission, or so he was certain of considering the idea came from his _incredible_ brain meats.

"Proximity warning, planet ahead" The ship's Computer said "55 Cancri-E"

"Humans and their inferior planet naming skills!" The Irken couldn't help but sneered "Such lack of imagination! _I_ could name a world better than any of those hairless monkeys!... In fact I shall name this world in the name of the Irken Empire as planet Adamas!"

Zim made a heroic pose right at that moment, even if no one was there to witness his so called creative genius "Yes, why am I so amazing?!"

* * *

So while Zim was patting himself on the shoulder in the vastness of space, back on Earth a very tired Gaz was getting ready to hit the hay, she had spent the last several hours playing the "Five Nights At Bloaty's" video game in her apartment.

"Stupid deathly Moose!" She growled dangerously "If I could killd it in the game, I would chop it into itty bitty pieces!"

Needless to say that it was more challenging than expected to pass all the levels, but she didn't care, after all; a good gamer was always up to the obstacles as they came along.

So after Gaz had dressed for the night, she got under her purple covers, ready to dream of ber slaughtering some animatronic horrors.

Or rather she would have, if a certain insane little robot hadn't flown to her room at full speed, yelling inconsistent words or maybe what he was saying was some sort of alien dialect.

Whatever the case, the scary woman didn't care.

She just wanted to sleep, but apparently that wasn't happening anytime soon.

 _ **"GAZZY!"**_

She irritably groaned and open an eye exasperatedly. She looked at her alarm clock and realized it was just a little over 3 O'clock.

"What do you want Gir?"

"I had a nightmare and it was real weird yo!"

"Stop talking like a rapper!" She ordered "It's getting on my nerves!"

"But the nightmare! **_THE NIGHTMARE_**!" The robot yelled with tears in his eyes "It was so bad! It was squishy and yellow with sandwiches as far as the eyes could see!"

Gaz sighed, "Let me guess, it was about the deleted scene from intestines of war"

 **"HOW DID YOU KNOW?!"** He shouted in awe "You psychic!"

"No you moron!" She snapped back "I know because you scream every time you watch the damn extended edition!

 ** _"NUH- HUH!"_**

"Turn down your damn voice box will you?! You almost busted my eardrum!" She scolded angrily.

"You're grumpy Gazzy!"

"Where have you been in the last ten years!"

"I been on Earth!" Gir answered happily _._

Gaz was about to get up from her bed, ready to strangle the deranged piece of Irken machinery, had she not remembered that she was **_babysitting_ ** the annoying robot as a favor to her alien boyfriend.

 _"This idiot is worse than my brother, how the hell did Zim managed to live with it and not dismantle it in blind rage?!"_

"Can Gazzy sing to me?"

"Say _**what?"**_

Sing me to sleep... you have a pretty voice!"

"Listen to me well Gir" Gaz spoke ominously "You can have a bit of my pizza, you can watch my tv, you can even throw food at my brother's large head, but there is no chance in hell that I'm going to sing for your enjoyment!"

Even if the S.I.R Unit wasn't particularly bright, he still understood what his caretaker was saying.

His antenna lowered, his cyan eyes began to water, it wasn't long before he began to scream at the top of his artificial lungs.

 _ **"AHHHHHHHHHHHH! AHHH! AHHH!"**_

 _ **"Seriously?!"** _ Gaz exclaimed.

Gir crawled all over the floor, while he continues to yell, with each scream the voice grew louder and louder.

"Shout all you want, sooner or later you're going to get tired."

* * *

Gaz was at her wits ends, the little android just kept screaming for the last six hours and no matter how many times she punched him, he **_wouldn't_** shut up.

As a result, her left eye twitched uncontrollably.

"Ok you win you stupid robot!" Gaz relented "I'll sing to you!"

That made Gir stop, he sat up and blankly stared at the young woman "You were going to sing to me?"

Gaz growled in disbelief "Why you little..."

 **"AHHHHHHHHHHHH! AHHH! AHHH!"**

She grunted in defeat.

"Soft kitty,

Warm kitty,

Little ball of fur.

Happy kitty,

Sleepy kitty,

Purr Purr Purr"

As soon as she was about to sing the second verse, she heard a soft snore.

"don't fucking believe this!"

Gir was sleeping peacefully in the rug, moving his leg, almost like a real dog would."

"Ugh, I'm too tired to cause any kind of retribution" Gaz yawned "I'll doom him _after_ I get some sleep."

So without a further ado, the purple headed woman puts her head on top od her comfy pillow, and closed her eyes ready for a very well deserved rest.

Seconds later her alarm went off.

She got up only to notice thst it was 8 AM, she needed to get ready for ger first class of the say.

"Oh come on!"

Gaz hatefully glared at the sleeping robot.

"I swear Zim" She hissed menacingly "When you get back I'll personally shove your robot up that arse of yours! You... ** _Will_**... Pay!"

* * *

Meanwhile back on 55 Cancri-E Zim was walking on the planet's surface wearing a very powerful space suit, he was grabbing some material from the ground, smirking as he held a big chunk of it.

"Excellent."

He made his way back to the Voot Cruiser, then flew out of the planet as quickly as he had arrived.

Once in space the Irken puts the big chunk of rock on the ship's panel.

"Computer, mold this material into a gift worthy of Zim to give to the Gaz Human!"

 _"Processing.. Processing... Done!_ "

Zim was more than pleased with the rest, his ship's Computer had made a pizza shaped engagement ring.

"Humans and their pathetic traditions make no sense" Zim sneered "But no matter, I achieved my goal, now that I gotten a ring, I shall ask for the Gaz-human to be my mate! It was clever of me to distract her by taking care of Gir, she doesn't suspect a thing.. **. I'M INGENIOUS!"**

Zim felt that he had done well, he undoubtedly succeed in getting a diamond ring as the humans claimed it was the proper way to tie the knob, so it was a step closer in claiming the Gaz-Beast as his.

That is if the scary woman didn't beat him to death first.

* * *

 _ **Well what do you guys think of the story, good? Bad? In between?**_

 _ **I figured this is as close as Gaz will ever get to true karma in the show's universe since dating Zim is already punishment enough, no? LOL.**_

 _ **By the way the planet Zim visited 55 Cancri-E does in fact exist, it's 40 lightyears away from Earth and made out of pure diamonds, but it has a very high temperature which explains why he wore a space suit, but in real life he would most likely be baked alive.**_

 _ **Adamas is actually the Greek word for diamond... According to google translator.**_

 _ **I also made fun of the Voot cruiser since in the second issue of the comic Tak's ship implies that since it farts to travel that it's made out of garbage and in the seventh issue Zim himself hints that.**_

 _ **The game of "Five Nights At Bloaty's" it's an obvious parody of "Five Nights At Freddy's" which of course doesn't belong to me.**_

 _ **Also I don't own "Soft kitty" That belongs to "TBBT".**_

 _ **Finally the name of the fic is based on when people make their vows and since Zim wants to tie the knot, Gaz will take half of the insanity that it's in being part of his world.**_

 ** _Neat, huh?_**

 _ **Invader Johnny Signing Off.**_


	2. Pops The Question Of Doom!

_**I want to thank Idakiller24 since she (unintentionally) gave me this random idea for a second chapter, so THANK YOU!**_

 ** _As for the rest of you my dear readers; enjoy the madness that ensures when Zim pops the question of DOOM!_**

* * *

Zim walked out of the his underground lair's elevator, or he _limped_ out of it, considering his legs hadn't completely healed, neither had his face, and one of his eyes was completely shut; due to a pink black eye, courtesy of his human girlfriend.

"So?, I take it your scary Human said no then?" The computer chortled "Otherwise you wouldn't look like something a digestor chewed out then sat on.

The would be Invader growled at his computer's disrespectful words " _ **No, she didn't say no!**_ "

"Then why do you look so... What's the word I'm looking for? Ah yes... _**horrible**_?"

* * *

 _Flashback:_

 _Zim goose steps towards Gaz's apartment, the engagement ring hidden in the safety of his PAK._

 _A smug confident smirk slowly formed on his face, getting bigger the closer he arrived to his destination._

 _"I think I'll destroy some farms and steal the pigs from there to celebrate" He mused "I'm sure Gaz would like the pigs for drawing and stuff... Maybe even..."_

 _ **"ZIM!"**_

 _The Irken in question stopped thinking of his future activities the moment his name was heard, he looked ahead just in time to notice his lover coming out of her home._

 _She was filled with a burning desire to cause the alien pain, something he was painfully unaware of._

 _"Ah, Gaz human, just in time!" Zim spoke, grinning from ear to earn (in the loose term of the words) "The amazing Zim needs to presence to ask you something of great importance!"_

 _Before the guy could say anything else, he received a punch the face, followed by a kick on the shin._

 _"Ow! My face! My glorious face! Ow! My superior legs!"_

 _"Never... Leave... Me... Alone... With... That... Stupid... Robot... Again... **DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME**?!"_

 _The purple headed woman punched the alien with every word._

 _ **"AHHHH! MY SPINE!"**_

 _ **"YOUR SPINE WILL BE THE LEAST OF YOUR WORRIES!"**_

 _Gaz then broke something else._

 _"AHHHH it hurts! Why must this be?!"_

 _Gir was watching everything from the apartment's door, doing a little salsa dance._

 _"Yay! I love musical rib cage!"_

* * *

"Let's just say that Gir is **_never_** allowed to be near the Gaz-Beast again!"

"I see" The A.I said trying not to laugh, something he was evidently failing at "Speaking of which, where _**is**_ the little annoyance?"

"I.. sent him on an wild goose chase" Zim said tiredly "One that will keep him busy for a while"

* * *

"Come back goose!" Gir screamed as he ran after the animal with a jar in his hands "I just want to put you in mayo and eat you!"

The bird ran as fast as its tiny legs would allow, quacking in fear of the deranged robot following him.

 _"Quack! Quack! Quack!"_

* * *

Back in the lab, Zim was massaging his sore eyeball.

 _Literally_.

The Irken actually removed both his red orbs from his skull, and began to gently give his optic nerves a well deserve relaxing massage with his fingers.

"So I take it you'll pop the question again sometime in the near future? The Computer asked, not really caring.

Zim grunted "I have not yet begun to fight! The Gaz-Beat will be my mate!"

"I'll have the first aid kid on standby.

* * *

Several days later after all of his wounds, bones and PAK had completely healed Zim was checking that everything was properly set up for the night.

"Okay…let's see... Horrible Earth music, check, ten gallons of soda, check. Pizza that Gir will never get his sticky hands on, check, video games for the night... Check, the ring.

A spider leg came out of his PAK, revealing the tiny box, he grabbed it without a care in the world, he opened it, revealing the engagement ring he plan to give the scary human.

"Pizza shaped, my ingenious creativity knows to bound!" He boasted "She'll say yes to Zim's proposal!"

The Irken took several steps to the many pizza boxes, he grabbed a particular one that was in a magenta box, compared to all the other ones, which were dark purple, he opened the box, only to start coughing uncontrollably "Ugh, the food these humans eat, simply disgusting!"

Nonetheless despite Zim's dislike for Gaz's favourite delicacy he swallowed his pride and puts the ring in a slice of pizza, it would be quite the surprise for the human to see such a rock on her food for sure.

"All the horrible human food is served" He said to himself "Now I have to go for my meals for the night... I think I'll get some Vort Dogs or maybe a slydoodeedoo"

He retreated deeper into his labs to grab his desired snacks, and no more than a few seconds had passed when Gaz came out of the elevator

"Hey Zim?" she said, tossing her bag and coat on the floor next to a floating chair "Hey Shorty! You here?"

"I am not short!" The Irken bellowed at once, he hated when his height was being mocked "Just wait there Gaz, I'll be right there to grace you with my amazing presence!"

"Whatever," Gaz shrugged, heading right into the table with all the delights that would make her think that she died and went to heaven, after such a long, agonising day at college, the food looked more than perfect.

Particularly the many boxes of Pizza.

"For once he did something right!" She grinned, pulling Magenta box towards her with the intention of satisfying her hunger, she knew Zim hated this stuff so for once she decided to spare him the pain of having to be near the smell and began to eat.

"Oh yeah…that's good stuff," Gaz said, closing her eyes in the sensation of it all. In a matter of minutes the pizza was gone, now she planned on getting another one.

"Let's see what other toppings Zim got"

"Alright, I'm here," The Irken said "I hope you followed my instructions Gaz-Beast because I have such a foodening prepared for us both! Starting with the..."

As Zim spotted the now empty pizza box discarded on the floor, he quickly fell silent and dropped his snacks in shock.

"What's wrong?" Gaz asked, as she raised an eyebrow, taking another bite from her latest slice.

"Gaz-Beast?" Zim said slowly. "What just happened to the pizza that was in that red box?"

"I ate it" She replied simply,nthen burped "If you made this Zim, then you just scored a hell of a lot of points tonight lover boy"

"Oh I'll be a Hogulus uncle! He shouted "You mean to tell me that you ate that pizza in one sitting?! that _entire_ pizza in one sitting?!"

"What? Yeah"

 _Oh shit!_ Zimthought to himself exasperatedly. My luck can't be this bad _!"_

"Okay, um, Gaz-Demon?" The Irken used the pet name he saved for hhis would be mate gently, trying and _failing_ to remain calm. "When you were eating the pizza…did-did anything, um, fall out?"

"Fall out?" Gaz repeated. "What are you talking about? What falls out of _pizza_?"

"Oh crap... _ **COMPUTER!"  
**_

 _ **"What?!"**_

"Take us to the X-Ray room!"

"What for?"

"Yeah, what _for_?' Gaz asked confused.

 _ **"DO NOT QUESTION ZIM! JUST DO IT!"**_

"Why can't you get a painful terminal decease?" The Computer asked exasperatedly "Why can't I be _**free**_?"

Ignoring his computer, Zim grabbed his mate's hand as they were teleported to another section of the lab.

"Zim... What is going on?!"

"I'll explain later!" The alien yelled "I just hope your intestines don't explode"

 _ **"WHAT DID YOU SAY?!"**_

"Everything will be explained Gaz" Zim said "Right now I just need you to do one thing... Trust me"

The scary woman growled as she gave him the evil eye "I-I Fine! But you have some _serious_ explaining to do, you green bean!"

* * *

About an hour later, Gaz was sitting in a metal floating table wearing a white gown, glaring at the back of Zim's head almost as if she could make it explode with the power of her mind.

"First you make me babysit your stupid robot, then you gimme pizza that might have been poisoned and now you had to gimme who knows what alien shit inside my body, Zim it's moments like these I wish my brother had cut you open years ago, so unless you want me to finish his job, you are going to talk and you are going to talk _**now**_!"

Zim gulped "Um, well...see, Gaz, it-it turns out…there was _something_ in the pizza that you _inhaled_ earlier... Something very, **_very_** important that almost ended up coming out in a very painful way had I not interfered with my superior Irken technology!"

"What the hell was it?!" She exclaimed.

The alien stepped closer to the table, leaning down to kiss her before reaching back into his pocket and pulling out the engagement ring. " _This_."

Gaz's eyes grew wide. "Is that…A...A..."

"I believe the words you are looking for are 'engagement ring' I wanted to surprise you but I guess I underestimated you love for that cheese covered time bomb and didn't expect you to eat this!"

"I-You-I-" Gaz stammered in disbelief. "I-I _really_ _ **swallowed**_ my engagement ring?"

"For a lack of better term, _yes_ " Zim said "On my planet there hasn't been a union of two Irkens for millennia, we have no purpose for such things, we lost the desire to bond with another long ago but you Gaz-Beast, you are unique, more so than any other creature I have ever encountered in the universe and none have even come close to your level of cruelty and vengeful creativity, this is the main reason that makes me think that if there is someone out there for me, that it would be you... So long story short... Marry me Earth monkey!"

Gaz rolled her eyes "Straight to the point is always a thing with you Zim, there is so many things wrong with you, you're a self-centered moron, with deep psychological problems and even with all your deathly machinery you can't even take over a mailbox!"

"I'm not hearing a no"

She pretended to think about for a second or two, knowing full well the waiting was killing the guy in front of him.

What seemed as an eternity to Zim was only seconds to Gaz.

"Eh... What the hell... Fine Zim, you got yourself a wife"

 _ **"VICTORY FOR ZIM!"**_

"Yeah... Sure... Whatever" Gaz snaps "So are you going to put the ring on my finger or do I have to break your hand and do it myself?"

"Let's wait until tomorrow Gaz-Beast" He said "The ring needs to be disinfected and I doubt even you want something that's been covered with your intestines in your finger"

 _"Oy... What the hell did I got myself into."_ She thought _"Is it too late to break whatever equivalent of a heart Zim has?"_

* * *

 ** _HA HA; well here it is, the idea of Gaz swallowing her ring was just too damn funny, it needed to be done!"_**

 ** _so, please leave a review telling me if I succeeded in making you laugh, okay?_**

 ** _Invader Johnny Signing Off._**


	3. Wedding Of Spooky Doom

**_"HI THERE EVERYBODY!"_**

 ** _In case you're wondering, no this isn't Invader Johnny...It's actually me, Recap Kid! YAY! I'm excited to be here after months and months of pestering the author of this story to write the ZAGR wedding, at_** ** _first he made a puppet show for my amusement but it wasn't the same, it just wasn't the same!_**

 ** _So he finally agreed to my demands but there's a catch, you readers have to like Zim and Gaz tying the knot, if you don't then IJ will feed me candy till I become sick and barf out my intestines all over the floor and I have to clean up the mess and I don't wanna do that, it's gross and smelly so please for the sake of my health and sanity review the wedding, you're all my only hope to stay clean..._**

 ** _Now that's out of the way I'll tell you what the previous chapters are about if you don't remember..._** ** _... Since that's what I do, it's my name after all... So the first chapter Gaz had to babysit Gir while Zim went to the cold vacuum of space to get an engagement right and when he got back he got hurt badly for taking so long to get his demented robot back... It was a one in a chance opportunity, I mean Gaz doesn't beat up Zim often, she usually hurts her brother, the big headed kid on screen... Right?_**

 ** _Anyway, in the second chapter Zim proposed the Earth way and Gaz said yes... You know once her ring came out of her intestines... It didn't smell nice... I mean eating a ring even if it's covered in cheesy pizza is bound to be disgusting but quite a story to tell friends... If they had friends, so now here's the wedding of doom!_**

 ** _Oh and remember to please like or I'm gonna be sick in so many way... See you all at the bottom!_**

* * *

 _"Well, the day has finally come"_

Gaz stared at herself in the full-length mirror. Her long purple hair was done up in a ponytail, pulled back away from her normally angry face.

Only that this time her features didn't show any type of hostility, if anything she was more of an evil grin.

After all it's not every day one gets married.

 _"Much less to a moronic alien with deadly, deadly weaponry."_

Needless to say that Gaz was more excited to the mayhem she and her soon to be husband would cause together than her excitement of getting married.

Not that she didn't want to get married, she did love Zim after all, even if there were times when she wished to strangle the Irken, but the craving for destruction was too strong to ignore, so by getting married she didn't just gain access to powerful alien technology.

 _"I gain not only a partner in crime but someone who hates the human race as much as me."_

And that was kind of hard to come by.

Her makeup today leaned toward a more natural look, after all she despised the idea of looking like the normal type of bride, that being said Gaz wore a long shoulder less black wedding dress, unlike the more traditional white dress which symbolised purity.

"As if there's anything pure about me" She sneered.

Interestingly Zim had once told her that the equivalent of weddings did exist at one at one point in Irk's distant past and that purple was a color usually worn by the females of his species when they were to tie the knot since it was the color scheme of the first female Tallest which to the Irkens has come to be a color associated with royalty and prestige.

She didn't miss his not so _subtle_ attempt in getting her to wear purple since his antennae always got up at the sight of her in anything of said color.

Gaz was currently standing in her old bedroom of her father's home. She had stayed over the previous night so that she and Zim wouldn't see each other at all before they finally got married, not that the alien understood the point of such a tradition which he called "A superstitious pig-smelly waste of my superior time."

 _"He's an idiot, he better not ruin our wedding if he knows what's good for him."_ A slow grim slowly grew on her face, _"But he's my idiot."_

The was so bizarre that the day had finally come, and though they didn't wait long after the proposal to actually get married, deep down Gaz knew she eventually did want to tie the knot but she also knew that was easier said than done due to her overwhelming hatred towards mankind which made it kind of hard to find that significant other.

Yet fate showed her wrong, after all she never expected that her future husband would come from beyond the stars.

There was a knock on the door, and Gaz tore her gaze away from the mirror.

"If it's you _Dib_ , go away!" She ordered ominously "I'm not about to call off the wedding for the sake of _humanity_!"

"Daughter, it's me"

"Oh, cone in dad."

Prof Membrane opened the door, floating into the room as he watched his child smoothing down her dress.

"Unusual coloration honey." The scientist commented, taking in his daughter's appearance fully, emotions welling within his robotic body. "You're the splitting image of your mother."

"You think so dad?"

"I know so."

Prof. Membrane floated over and took Gaz's hands in his own.

"After my accident I didn't expect to live another day but as a man of science I was never one to give up until I found a solution, even though I lost my body, my mind is as sharp as ever and thanks to that, I'm floating here today so that I can walk you down the aisle."

"I'm glad you found time out of your busy schedule to come to my wedding dad."

He caressed Gaz's face with his cold robotic fingers.

"I wouldn't miss it for the world, daughter."

For the first time since she was a little girl, Gaz hugged her father.

"Now let's get going, it wouldn't be a good impression for the bride to be late on her own wedding."

Once again Gaz grinned evilly.

 _"Yeah, it would be such a shame to drive Zim up a wall thinking I got cold feet."_ But thought better of it _"_ "I'll be the one marrying the love of my life."

Her amber eyes were shining.

under those shut eyes that is.

* * *

Meanwhile in Zim's base the Invader was having a mini freak attack.

 _ **"WHERE THE HELL IS MY AMAZING WIG?"**_

Or more accurately a massive Squeedly Spooch attack.

 _ **"You're wearing it"**_ The computer said annoyed.

Zim touched his head to make sure the a.i wasn't pulling his leg, once was satisfied he regained his composure.

"I knew that."

 _ **"Moron."**_

As the Irken was straightening up he heard the elevator door to the lab open.

He was so certain no one was aware that he was down here, _"who on Irk could that possibly be?"_

Zim turned to meet Skoodge emerging from the doorway.

"I Found you!" the shorter Irken said with a glee. He then got his communicator out of his PAK "Mission accomplished, I found Zim, the wedding is safe!"

 _ **"I MADE WAFFLES!"**_ Gir shrieked from the other side "And my piggy friend want to be the ring bearer but I don't him no and now he's stealing all over the place and leaving little gifts behind... They're brown and sticky!"

 _ **"GIR YOU BETTER CLEAN THAT NOW!"**_ Zim ordered angrily.

"OOhhhh, now he's taking a nap!" The robot said, then yawned "I'm sleepy too!"

"Oh no no no no, don't even think about it Gir, now it's not the time to sleep, your master commands you!"

His only reply was the combined noises of snorts and snoring.

Zim slapped his forehead in aggravation as Skoodge puts the communicator back in his PAK.

The conqueror of Blorch put his hands in his dress pant pockets. He wore a dark jacket, a tie, purple eye contacts and his fake hair was gelled down.

"So... You alright?"

 _ **"I AM ZIM!"**_ He snarled "I am _perfectly_ fine!"

 _ **"That's debatable"**_ The computer sneered.

 _ **"SILENCE!"**_

 _ **"I hope Gaz kills you slowly and painfully."**_

"Do you want me to turn you off permanently?!" Zim hissed angrily.

To his surprise a on/off button materialised next to him.

 _ **"If it frees me from you, go ahead."**_

The Irken growled at the computer "Well I won't, that smart mouth of yours just cost you an eternity with the amazing Zim!"

 _ **"I hate you."**_

The button disappeared, not that Zim noticed since he was nervously keeping himself busy with his gloved hands.

Particulary his thumps.

"Are you having any second thoughts?" Skoodge asked.

Zim snorted. "Are you kidding me? No way in hell, I been waiting to have this human next to my amazing side, she's evil... Not as evil as me but _still_ evil!"

"Great." He nodded. "Because we gotta go, the wedding is at five and it's 4: 33 PM"

"Sweet jumping jellybeans!" Zim exclaimed, eyes wide. "How do I look?"

He pulled on his Black jacket over his invader uniform nervously, and then tried to smooth down his wig's hair, his long legs were shaking in his dark pants, and he could feel his antennae shaking in anticipation as well.

"She won't kill you if that's what your hoping" Skoodge said "But that might change if your not at the altar."

"Then let's go!" Zim ordered over dramatically "My life mate awaits!"

* * *

It was rather obvious that Zim and Gaz took ever precaution to ensure that their special day wouldn't go down in flames due to unwanted guests.

Particularly Dib trying to prevent his little sister from marrying his sworn enemy.

So currently the man was trying to chew his way out of a straight jacket while hanging upside down in a cage...

... In Zim station way in outer space.

"I gotta get out of here and save Gaz!" He said with determination "I will not let that space bastard do dirty things to my little sister!"

Unfortunately he wasn't alone.

As if his luck wasn't bad enough, Keef was his cellmate.

"Whoo! Zim is getting married and here I am with you, Dib!" The redhead said happily "I wanted to be his best man since he's my bestest friend but he gave me the very important job of staying out of the way... A gazillion miles away, what are the odds that he gave you the same job huh? Huh huh?"

Dib couldn't chew his way out of his imprisonment fast enough.

* * *

To keep appearances with the humans, Zim had no choice but to bring his roboparents to the wedding.

A decision he started to regret.

Since they were giving "their son" a few words of _encouragement_.

"Aw... I'm gonna get the camera to remember the moment!" Robomom grinned.

Then her jaw felled to the floor.

Robodad on his part was dancing around the room trying to teach him how to walts when he dances with Gaz at the reception.

The disguised Irken was massaging his forehead.

"The things I do to keep appearances on this nasty rock."

There was a knock at the door.

Skoodge opened it.

"It's time Zim."

The Invader got up from the chair and goosed steeped out, giving the aura of someone who was rather confident in himself.

Inside he felt Slorbeasts in his Squeedly Spooch.

* * *

Since the Professor was extremely rich be payed for everything in the wedding as a gift to his daughter.

That being said he reserved a place nearby his lab so that the moment his daughter and son in law went home he would go back to work.

After all the Earth needed him, physically he may have changed but he was still a workaholic.

The place Prof. Membrane got was huge, which seemed like a waster considering that neither Zim nor Gaz many friends.

in fact on Zim's side the only people were Gir, MiniMoose, the pig, Invader Skoodge, Table headed service drone Bob and Squidman, while on Gaz's side was The ShadowHog, Invader Tenn and her father.

Zim originally wanted to invite the Almighty Tallest as well but considering Slorgaks or in Earth terms interracial species are taboo on his home world he thought twice about it.

Which was a first.

That spoke volumes on how much the deranged Irken wanted the scary human as his mate.

 _"She's mine"_

"Everyone shup up!" Ms Bitters snarled darkly.

"But... No one said anything" Skoodge pointed out.

"Doesn't matter!" She hissed "Nothing here matters, we're all doomed anyway, this wedding is a sign of it"

The elderly teacher surprisingly was the one to wed her former students, and even though she hated them both, Ms Bitters still was one of the few people Zim and Gaz _slightly_ respected so in their logic there was no one more fitting (and demonic) to marry them.

Since she could only last so long in the sun, Ms Bitters wore a dark cloak to protect her, after all there were Windows pretty much everywhere, which was something that annoyed her.

Then why did she agreed to this? Simply put, in the last couple of years the Skool budget had gone from bad to worse and she unfortunately needed the money from anywhere she could.

So as she menacingly instructed, the crowd remained silent. Soft music started playing.

Zim gulped, grabbing his tie nervously.

 _"This is it."_

The doors at the end of the hall pushed open, and with an aura of intimidation Gaz stood there with a cruel smile on her face and black flowers in her hands.

Prof. Membrane began to walk her (technically float her) down the aisle.

Everyone's eyes were on her, but none were more in awe of her appearance than her soon to be husband.

He gave her a cruel grin of his own, he couldn't help but think of tearing apart that dress later tonight.

Ms Bitters grunted as Gaz finally was in front of her and next to Zim.

"Took you long enough." She sneered.

But everyone ignored her rude comment, the professor released his robotic arm from his daughter's and gave her a kid on the forehead.

"Who gives the bride away?"

"I am"

"Good," Ms Bitters growled "Now sit down and let's get started."

Prof. Membrane floated to a nearby chair.

Both Human and Irken looked at each other for a millisecond before standing before their former teacher.

"We are gathered here today to join the bride, Gaseline Membrane , and the groom, Zim Invader in holy Matrimony." Ms Bitters said uncaringly "Now let's get down to it and we will hear the vows, starting with the groom."

"I will doom this planet and with you by my side, things will be far worse for humanity!" The Irken said "In short, we are a deadly team and I can't wait to cause mayhem with you as husband and wife."

Robomom, Invader Teen and the ShadowHog couldn't help but go _"aww."_

"I'm done."

"Thank you Zim, that was horrible." Ms Bitters said, then turned to Gaz "You! Have anything to add?"

The scary woman nodded "Well Zim, I stayed up last night trying to come up with an excuse to doom you if you somehow screwed this up, but I'm impressed that you haven't, but don't claim victory _yet_ " Gaz narrowed her eyes "I'm standing here today, ready to be your wife in the good, the bad and the insanity that will be our life together, will I regret it? I'm sure I will, Will I leave you? No chance in hell, why? Because despite your many, many, _**many**_ flaws I grown to love you."

The pig squealed in delight.

"I know, piggy, I know!" Gir said "I think I'm gonna explode!"

"If anyone had any reason to stop this Union then say something or shut up!"

Suddenly the hide Wooden doors opened and Dib appeared, still in his straight jacket but completely dishevelled, which wasn't surprising considering he had to chew out of a cage and travel all the way from space to stop the wedding.

"... I have something to say..!" He gasped "And These two can't..."

He stopped speaking, made a face and fainted on the floor, only to show Keef was behind him with a tranquilliser gun in his arm "Did I do a good job Zim?" The redhead asked with a grin.

Gaz raised an eyebrow, looking at the alien.

Zim shrugs "Doesn't hurt to have a back up."

"Uh-huh... I'll doom Dib later" Gaz promised ominously "But right now we _**still**_ gotta be married."

Zim and Gaz held hands.

"Ok just to ensure that no more unpleasant people interrupt, I'll go straight to the point." Ms Bitters hissed "Where are the rings?"

Gir who stood behind his masters wearing his dog disguise and a tuxedo, opened his zipper and got the two rings out of his head.

Zim and Gaz held them then exchanged them putting them into the other's finger.

"Zim! Do you take this woman to be your wife, yes or no?"

"The almighty Zim says I do."

Gaz rolled her eyes at his melodramatic behaviour but deep down its one of the few thing that she has grown fond of.

"What about you Gaz?" Ms Bitters asked "You can still get out of this."

"I do."

"Then by the power bested in me I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may now kiss the bride."

Zim and Gaz didn't waste any time and practically made out in front of their guests.

The Irken held his new wife bridal style as he walked them out of the room with everyone cheering.

Gir released several salted nuts out of his head to celebrate.

"Weddings need pizza!"

* * *

Later that night after the reception (And Gaz beating the living daylight out of her brother for almost ruining her wedding) the newlyweds were back in his underground lab.

They may be married by Earth standards.

Now they had to be married the Irken way.

Zim had his left hand on top of a glowing table, Gaz soon followed suit.

Skoodge was also there, standing before them with a huge knife.

"You two ready?"

"I been ready since forever Skoodge!"

"Eh... Whatever."

The shorter alien gulped and struck done on both their thumps.

Pink and red blood covered the table, mixing as it drips down.

After both their thumps were chopped off, Skoodge carefully sewed the thumps into the other's hand, so ultimately Zim took possession of Gaz's and vice verse.

Gaz stared down at her new green finger, Zim had told her that eons ago back on Irk such a tradition symbolises a union between two Irkens.

"This is somewhat creepy" She said "I like it."

Zim in turned looked at the thump which he now had in his hand " _ **Now**_ we are truly married."

Gaz rolled her eyes "Well Zim, now that we finally are married, there is something I should have told you."

"Yes, yes your happy to have Zim as your amazing spouse" He boasted "I would be happy too!"

The woman punched him for that.

"Looks like I still have a lot to do with that ego of yours."

"Erm... What?" He asked from the ground.

"Nevermind." She snapped "Now pay attention Zim, because I'm only going to say this _once_."

"Whaaaa..."

"I'm pregnant."

Zim fainted afterwards.

"Whiner."

 **The End.**

* * *

 ** _Recap Kid here again! So, did you like the wedding, huh? Huh? Huh? Please say you did, even if candy is yummy I don't wanna be sick! I want to continue being an expert on Invader Zim without the trauma of other IZ fans wanting to get their hands on me and not in a good way! Help me!_**

 ** _I'll take it from here boy... Girl? I'm not even sure with you really, anyway this was fun to write, after re-reading and fixing a few mistakes in the previous chapters I decided to of course make this into a prequel to my other ZAGR fic "I had a Smeet Once" if you want to discover the gender of the baby then read said sequel, heh._**

 ** _Yeah, I'm aware that it was sort of cheap advertising on my part, heh._**

 ** _Anyway I'm sure many of you may think "When did Ms Bitters become Gaz's teacher? Well I'm certain that as Gaz grew older she must have had other teachers in her life and considering both women hate Dib, I'm sure they would be bonding over that or at the very least have a grudging respect for one another._**

 ** _Zim wanting to see Gaz in purple was a subtle reference to the fact that purple is his favourite color according to both prisoner 777 and Jhonen Vasquez, plus the fact that Zim became a bit wiser (at least to some decisions) was a nod to Emperor Zim who is/was a more mature, sane version of the present Zim so apparently it is canon that eventually our beloved Invader will become competent at some point in his life._**

 ** _Anyway, what did you guys think if this, I sure hope that the characters weren't OOC, it's been a while since I written for most of them._**

 ** _Invader Johnny Signing Off._**


End file.
